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Common Divorce Threats and What to Do About Them

Common Divorce Threats and What to Do About Them

During a divorce, tensions are running high, and it’s inevitable that you and your spouse will have disagreement. With so much built up animosity it’s common for a spouse to hurl accusations and threats at the other. Hearing threats can be very stressful and frightening; however, you should know that your spouses threats are empty until they are validated by an attorney. Often, a spouse will sling threats with little knowledge of how the law actually works. If your spouse threatens you, consult your attorney right away. To help ease your stress, below is a list of ten of the most common threats made by a spouse during a divorce, and the reasons why these threats are empty. “I’ll tell the court ____ and you won’t get the kids.” Threats about custody are extremely common, and more importantly, are usually unfounded. If a spouse is making threats like this, chances are they are not fit to have custody, and are simply trying to frighten you. Don’t worry about a spouse revealing aspects of your personal life to make you seem unfit. More often than not, the elements of your personal life they want to “reveal” has no bearing on your ability to be a parent. “Do what I say, or you won’t get my money.” Again, people who make this kind of threat often have no idea how the law works, and they are used to always getting their way. Regardless of what they want to happen, issues of money are decided by the court– not the spouse. “You can’t take my money.” California functions under a communal property...
How to Grieve Your Divorce

How to Grieve Your Divorce

Writer Nora Ephron once said, “marriages come and go, but divorce is forever.” It’s true that, while a marriage might not last, the emotional damage resulting from a divorce can feel endless. This is a reality that’s become increasingly prevalent for Americans; just about 50% of all marriages end in divorce, and in California it’s a staggering 75%. That means that three out of four marriages in California end in divorce. If you are part of this majority, it is absolutely necessary for your well-being that you learn how to cope with a divorce. It can be especially hard when your ex continues to be a figure in your life after the divorce, socially or as a co-parent. Though everyone experiences grief in different ways, there are a few stages of grief that are widely accepted as universal. Recognizing and processing these stages is essential to your mental and emotional healing post-divorce. One of the first stages of grief is mourning. Mourning can manifest itself in many ways, like anger, sadness, or bitterness. It’s important to allow yourself to process these feelings. A divorce marks a huge change in one of the biggest elements in your life, and mourning that change is an integral part of coping. While mourning, be sure to confide in friends, family, or a counselor about your feelings. You may find yourself feeling angry or vengeful towards your spouse, and that’s normal too. In fact, you may find that your spouse is dealing with these strong emotions too. Try to be sympathetic and receptive. You and your spouse might want to take the time to...
What Should You Do with Your House During a Divorce?

What Should You Do with Your House During a Divorce?

In a divorce, one of the most taxing things can be deciding how to divide up your assets. It’s important to know your states laws about property division so that you are aware of your rights. In California, assets acquired by a spouse during a divorce belong to both of them equally, and must be divided equally in court. When deciding what to do with your house, you want to take into account the valuation date, which is the date when the value of the house was established. Normally, even if one of the spouses lives off of the property during the divorce, the houses expenses are divided evenly. If the property value increases after the valuation date, the spouse who stayed on the property may receive more money from selling the house. There is a lot to consider when deciding what to do with your house in a divorce, and your best option would be to discuss it with your attorney. However, boiling the process down to a few key decisions makes it a lot easier to understand. First off, determine if either spouse wants the house, and if so, if that spouse can afford it. If the answer to both those questions is no, you can sell the house and equally divide the money. To find out if the spouse can afford to keep the house, simply write up a future budget. Next, determine if there are enough assets in the marital estate for one party to buyout the other. If not, again you should sell the house and split the money. If there are sufficient assets,...

5 Things You Need to Hear About Divorce

Going through a divorce is a strain on the whole family; not only are you and your spouse struggling to get through the process, but your children are too. The truth is, any negative emotions you may be dealing with are probably present in your kids, along with a healthy dose of confusion. If you really want your children to have a healthy view of your divorce, it’s best to know the hard facts, however unpleasant they may seem. This way, you have all the tools available to help your kids cope. Below are five hard facts you need to know about divorce. Your kids ARE going to struggle. A lot of people rely on old adages like “children are resilient,” or ones that rely of the divorcees “putting on a happy face” for their kids. While it’s true that processing your own emotions as healthily as possible will have a positive effect on your kids, your children are still bound to have a great deal of confusion about the divorce. Divorce might have seemed like the absolute right decision for you, but your children probably have a lot of questions and conflicting emotions. It’s important to address these questions and validate their emotions so your children can begin to understand why the divorce is a positive thing. One of you (or both) are going to show their ugly side. It’s inevitable, with the built up animosity and the added stress of the divorce process, that at least one of the spouses is going to show their not-so-favorable side. The spouse might feel angry, betrayed, lost, hurt, or any...
Five Signs You May Need A Divorce Lawyer

Five Signs You May Need A Divorce Lawyer

When you make that very difficult decision to get a divorce, it becomes a very delicate and a lot of the time, emotional experience. Given the sensitivity of the process, you want to make sure that you have the best possible divorce lawyer working on your case. However, not every divorce lawyer will be best suitable to you and your specific needs, so there are certain things you should look out for in regards to divorce attorneys. Communication between yourself and your divorce lawyer is imperative. That is how information gets relayed from one person to the next. Lawyers have an ethical duty to their client, so there is no way to getting around communication. If you notice that your lawyer is poor at returning phone calls, responding back to emails significantly much later than you sent them, that may be a early sign that you are need of a new divorce lawyer. A divorce lawyer should always consult with you first when major decisions are about to take place. You need a lawyer to help keep you organized, but just because they are handling things for you, doesn’t mean they should be making decisions for you without discussing it with you first. If your divorce lawyer is guilty of this, this also may be a sign that you are in need of a new divorce lawyer. When going through a divorce, as mentioned early on, you want the best. The best attorneys get things done without many errors. With that said, a lack of experience in a lawyer shows through to the clients. If you notice that your...