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Help Your Kids Deal With the Effects of Divorce

Help Your Kids Deal With the Effects of Divorce

When parents are going through a divorce, one of their biggest priorities is making sure their children get the emotional support they need. Ideally, parents would like to minimize the impact of the divorce as much as possible. In order to make the divorce easier on the children, parents should recognize how divorce commonly affects kids, and take the necessary steps to make the process as painless as possible. Research on children and divorce typically show that kids will experience a sense of loss. This feeling of loss can manifest in a variety of different ways, depending on several factors. For instance, younger children may show signs of regression in areas such as toilet training, or they may throw more tantrums. Older children and teens tend to experience their loss as depression, rebellion, or other changes to their sleeping or eating habits. Whatever the child’s experience is, parents play a huge part in easing their child’s pain. No matter what your child’s age is, the most important thing to do is to be cooperative and non-confrontational, and to continually ensure your child that you love them and that they will always have two parents. There are several other ways to properly communicate with your child while you are reassuring them. First of all, try not to vent to your child about your own frustrations regarding the divorce. It is fine to be open and honest about your feelings, and it may make your child comfortable enough to open up about how they feel. However, try not to stress your child out with details about your own difficulties. Even years...
Special Issues in Late Life Divorce

Special Issues in Late Life Divorce

A late life divorce includes many of the same challenges as a divorce when you are younger. However, older couples also face some unique, age-related issues as well, including health concerns, retirement, and greater emotional impact. One of the biggest differences in late-life divorce is the fact that you will have less time to recover financially afterward. If you are getting a divorce after 50, or are considering it, it is important to consider division of assets like your home, retirement plan, and Social Security When dividing assets in late life divorce,there is more to consider than just the market value of the asset. Some assets will be more useful to you later in life than they are now, such as your house. Your house could be of greater value to you since your age allows you to be eligible for real estate property tax exemptions. Your house could also be a more valuable asset since you could be eligible for a reverse mortgage once you are 62 years old, which could offer additional income. As you grow older you might want your house for tax benefits such as mortgage interest or exclusions from gains upon sale. The house might also be a more valuable asset to you since the house owner can qualify for public benefits such as Medicaid, and have access to equity and potential rent income. Another issue to consider in late life divorce is dividing retirement plans. Dividing retirement plans can be complicated, so it is important to consult with your lawyer. You may need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, which is a separate court...
Custody Issues when the Child is 18 Years Old

Custody Issues when the Child is 18 Years Old

In California, a child is considered emancipated by the age of 18 or after high school graduation. At this time, the children are still teenagers, but are considered adults, and usually matters like child support and custody laws do not apply to them anymore. A recent unpublished opinion by 6th appellate district, William v. Cavers, explores child custody issues after the child has reached the age of 18. The William v. Cavers case s a 8.1115 opinion, which means that the court opinion is available to the public, but is not certified for publication under California Rules of Court. It cannot be cited in court, however, it can offer general insight into how California appellate courts handle child custody. In the William v. Cavers case, the mother petitioned the court for custody when the child turned 17. The father, who was the custodial parent, was against the change, The parents could not come to an agreement with help of a mediator. The mediator recommended that the mother obtain custody at the end of the school year, which the father again opposed. In a later custody hearing, the trial court followed the mediator’s recommendations. The father continued to appeal, and during his appeal process the daughter turned 18 years old. California can appoint a mediator to assist parents in creating agreements for issues of child support and custody. The mediator can help parents create a parenting plan, which a judge can approve of and make into a support or custody court order. Mediators have extensive education and training for creating a plan in the best interests of the child, though...
Divorce and Health: Studies May Tie Divorce to High Blood Pressure and Obesity

Divorce and Health: Studies May Tie Divorce to High Blood Pressure and Obesity

A new study has discovered delayed side-effects to those who experienced long-term sleep troubles. The study found that those who have trouble sleeping after a divorce for more than 10 weeks are at risk for a rise in blood pressure. The study sought to find the link between divorce and major health problems, including early death. Investigators at the University of Arizona suggest sleep trouble could be one of the factors. Researchers studied 138 people who had been separated or divorce for around 16 weeks. Participants reported on the quality of their sleep during three lab visits spread over seven-and-a-half months, during which their blood pressure was recorded. Initially, the researchers did not identify a link between blood pressure and sleep problems. Eventually, however, they found a delayed effect. “We saw changes in resting blood pressure were associated with sleep problems three months earlier. Earlier sleep problems predicted increases in resting blood pressure over time,” said study co-author David Sbarra, an associate professor of psychology, in a university news release. “What we found was if you’re having sleep problems up to about 10 weeks after your separation, they don’t appear to be associated with your future increase in blood pressure,” Sbarra said. “However, after 10 or so weeks — after some sustained period of time — there seems to be a cumulative bad effect.” In other words, the longer an individual’s sleep problems continued, the higher their risk for high blood pressure. The study, which was published in the journal of Health Psychology, found a connection between higher blood pressure and divorce-related sleep problems, but did not establish a...
How to Grieve Your Divorce

How to Grieve Your Divorce

Writer Nora Ephron once said, “marriages come and go, but divorce is forever.” It’s true that, while a marriage might not last, the emotional damage resulting from a divorce can feel endless. This is a reality that’s become increasingly prevalent for Americans; just about 50% of all marriages end in divorce, and in California it’s a staggering 75%. That means that three out of four marriages in California end in divorce. If you are part of this majority, it is absolutely necessary for your well-being that you learn how to cope with a divorce. It can be especially hard when your ex continues to be a figure in your life after the divorce, socially or as a co-parent. Though everyone experiences grief in different ways, there are a few stages of grief that are widely accepted as universal. Recognizing and processing these stages is essential to your mental and emotional healing post-divorce. One of the first stages of grief is mourning. Mourning can manifest itself in many ways, like anger, sadness, or bitterness. It’s important to allow yourself to process these feelings. A divorce marks a huge change in one of the biggest elements in your life, and mourning that change is an integral part of coping. While mourning, be sure to confide in friends, family, or a counselor about your feelings. You may find yourself feeling angry or vengeful towards your spouse, and that’s normal too. In fact, you may find that your spouse is dealing with these strong emotions too. Try to be sympathetic and receptive. You and your spouse might want to take the time to...